The Desert

It's official. Simon got orders to 29 Palms this past week. We're moving to the desert this summer! I'm mostly worried about the car ride...

DIY Denim Distress

At my job, sometimes people ask for me to distress their denim for them.

This makes my heart sing.

I learned this trick when I was a senior in high school. I had an awesome pair of jeans that I wanted to shred. Alas, there's a way to do it without chemicals/serious injury. Just kidding. You might cut yourself.

What you need:
An awesome pair of pants that fit you just right
Tailor's chalk
Really, really, really sharp scissors
A well-stocked First Aid kit
Patience

Step one:
Mark a box with the chalk where you want the hole to be. If you're doing knee holes, please put the pants on first and then mark. It's impossible to guess just by looking at them, I promise.

Step two:
Drag the pointed end of the scissors horizontally across the pants, about ten times or so inside the box you drew. This breaks the fibers that run vertically and will speed up the process. Do not press so hard that you cut the pants. Just enough to do a little damage.

Step three:
Use one side of the scissors, and drag the blade across the pants, back and forth, in the same horizontal direction. Apply a good amount of pressure. My hands hurt really bad by the end of this. You'll first see some of the fibers coming off, then you'll gradually start to see the horizontal yarns show themselves. This is the part where I start to bleed, usually in my thumb joints. Cue the bandages.

Step four:
Switch back and forth between step two and three! When your hand hurts really bad from step 3, do step 2 again. You need to keep things interesting. A hole about 1" in diameter takes me about 15 minutes.

Poof! A hole! I wish I had taken a full picture of the pants, but the customer has long since picked them up by now. If you're wondering where would be the best place to put a hole, the knee would be the most obvious place if you want to keep it looking real. Currently, holes in the thighs are popular. Another I get requests for is to do them at the bottom of the back of the hem. Or anywhere really. They're your pants.

Sleep well, my lovely DIYers.
<3 Kristin

Mom Life

Parenting would be really terrifying if we didn't have the luxury of just taking it a day at a time. I'm so happy human children grow slowly. I think we'd all have lost our minds by now if they didn't. Am I right?

Also, thanks to the Pinterest success of the article a couple posts down, I kind of wish I knew how to let people comment. A few comments slip through, but I sincerely want to know what everyone that stumbles upon this blog thinks. Anyone have experience with this issue? Please email me at madde1km@gmail.com. Google searches have failed me!

Simon's Homecoming

I realized while writing my last article that I haven't written since Noah was four months old. I'm not surprised; We've been incredibly busy since Simon came home. I figured its a better-late-than-never kind of situation to talk about when Noah first met his father.


Simon came home from Afghanistan when Noah was exactly five months old: October 23rd.


I went to work, and it flew by. I was expecting him to arrive around 5 pm, so I left work at 2 pm. Then I got a call that he was going to be home at 6:30, so I did some shopping for the pets before picking Noah up from daycare. I was getting ready at 5 pm, and I got another call saying he was going to be there at 5:30! HOLY CRAP. I immediately stopped, grabbed Noah, and left the house. I drove like a crazy person to base, and it took another 20 minutes to get to the right place. I was the last person to show up, and Simon's bus pulled up about 10 minutes after. I'm so glad we made it in time.


While I was waiting, some kid screamed "The bus is coming!" I started sobbing like a baby, and the kid was just lying. It didn't pull up for like 5 minutes afterward. But I cried and cried and cried. I was a bigger baby than Noah.


Simon got off the bus. I recognized him, but then I kind of didn't. His cheeks were sunken into his face. That took me by surprise. I couldn't tell when we video chatted, but in person it was very apparent. For a second I didn't think it was him, but I'd always be able to recognize his smile.


So we hugged and kissed, and it was adorable. Then Simon picked up his son for the first time. Noah took to him instantaneously. It was the most memorable part of the whole night. I had been very worried that he would cry, because he developed stranger anxiety a few weeks previously. For Simon's sake, I had hoped it would go well. It was better than well. It was miraculous.


And then all three of us went home together.


<3

What to buy, and when to buy it.

(Fully aware how improper the straps/clip are in this pic. I've learned some things.)

What I'm about to write about will not apply to most people. Everyone has different needs and financial situations. This is just something I've been thinking about, and what we should have done when planning for Noah. We've found ourselves with an abundance of things we don't need, and we still don't have a high chair. He's 8 months old, for god's sake. Also, I understand a lot of people have baby showers and that they often get expensive gifts at them. Feel free to use this more as a guide for what to make sure is set up and when to set it up by. Or disregard the entire article as trash.

I don't believe in buying anything before you're 20 weeks along. I'm superstitious. Whatever.

5 months pregnant: Infant car seat/stroller/travel system

The car seat is the absolute first expensive item you'll need. I recommend having an infant carrier first, then transitioning to the convertible car seat if this is your first child. It is so easy to go from inside, to car, to inside somewhere else, to back in the car, then back home if you don't have to keep waking your itty, bitty, newborn every single time you get in or out of the car. However, if you have a bunch of children, its not practical to carry this everywhere if you have other little hands to hold. In that case I would baby wear. Also, the stroller is important for some people. I have used mine less than 10 times. Noah hates his stroller.

6 months pregnant: Bassinet/cradle and bedding

This is the second thing you'll need. Baby's gotta sleep somewhere, and you'll have to put your baby down, eventually. Your baby might disagree.

7 months pregnant: Breast pump and accessories

I didn't think I would need this until I went back to work. Then I experienced what engorgement was. Pumping was my new favorite hobby the week after Noah was born. Also, pumping can jump start labor. I didn't try it, but apparently that's a real thing for desperate, full term, pregnant women.

8 months pregnant: Rocking chair and infant swing

If your baby comes early, these aren't absolutely necessary items. However, they are incredibly convenient and can help you drastically those first few months. This is why I placed them at Month 8.

2 months postpartum: Pack 'n Play

What? Nothing for your first month?! No. Because the last thing you'll be thinking about the first 4 weeks is what you want to buy next. Therefore, we skip to the Pack 'n Play. We actually needed this right away, as a means to keep our dogs from the baby. I feel like most couples don't need this right away. I came to appreciate it more when he started rolling around.

3 months postpartum: Crib and bedding

Remember? You've been using the cradle for the first few months. Although it seems necessary, it definitely isn't while your baby is a newborn. Ours was used for decoration until Noah was 5 months old. Whatever you do, try to make a sleep schedule around 3 months old. This is my biggest regret. Get the crib and use it! Jesus Christ, save yourselves.

4 months postpartum: Convertible car seat

Most babies will fit in their infant carrier way past 4 months old. Ours didn't.

5 months postpartum: High chair and feeding accessories

We didn't start feeding him food until he was 6 months old, so if you get this at 5 months old, you'll be prepared.

6 months postpartum: Play yard

You might need this sooner, especially if you can play outside with your baby. Ours is currently in our living room, because this kid can crawl like a maniac. We're looking forward to using it outside in the summer for him, too. He loves the outdoors!

I hope this is helpful for someone. I really just wanted to get this off my chest. Advice: Any month that you already have that item, spend the $200 or so on just a crap ton (haha) of diapers. Additionally, I'm a big advocate of hand-me-downs and shopping second hand shops, except in the case of car seats. Always get those brand new.

Babies don't have to be expensive.

<3 Kristin

Parenting

You know you're doing something right when...

You look at your baby and catch him staring at you and smiling.

Noah is 4 months old today! Time flies when you're having fun. We had his appointment this morning, and then we got him some shots today after I got out of work. All these kids kept coming up to Noah and wanting to play with him and talk to him and stuff. I'm really glad I didn't go in the morning, because I would not have had the energy for that. And then I taught a kid what the number 8 looked like, and what the color pink was. As exhausting as it was, I really look forward to when I get to do these things with Noah. Waiting rooms are the best kind of practice :)

Simon comes home "soon." It seems like forever ago when he left, but we're coming right up on 6 months now. We've been apart for 7 out of 9 months this year so far. It doesn't really feel like it. I feel like we could just be watching tv together, and it wouldn't feel like a big deal. But it would be.

Maybe I'll get some paint for his welcome home sign this weekend. Putting my art minor to good use! It'll be the most noticeable sign out of all of them, guaranteed.

The News

Here are my thoughts on this week's news.

Back story: High school kids broke into a former NFL players house to throw a party and vandalize pretty much all of it. He put pictures from the party that were on Twitter on some sort of social media website to help identify and prosecute the kids. Their parents, instead of getting mad at their children, got mad at this guy for putting their pictures up, because it would hurt their chances of getting into college.

WHAT THE F***.

If Noah ever did that, I'd help you. I'd drag his sorry behind to the police department, right after he was done scrubbing the urine out of the carpet. What's even better is that Noah will hopefully never be that much of a jackass, because he'll be exposed to real parenting instead of a system of entitlement.

Back story: Shootings in general.

Response: See above. I have no idea what to even do about this. What do you do about this? How do you fix it? Let's figure it out.

Back story: Someone won $400 million in the lottery.

Response: I don't play the lottery. I haven't played since I was pretty much broke. Currently, we're financially stable, so I feel no need to change that in any way. Also, I don't think you should rely on luck to determine your financial success. Playing the stock market has much higher odds of success.

I just pulled up an IRA calculator on my computer to find out if you put $1 every week into a traditional IRA with typical gains and what not until you retire at 65, you will have over $18,000. If you play the lottery every week with $1 for your entire adult life, chances are you will not have $18,000 come out of it. $10 instead? $183,000.

Food for thought Fridays.
<3 Kristin