Parenting

You know you're doing something right when...

You look at your baby and catch him staring at you and smiling.

Noah is 4 months old today! Time flies when you're having fun. We had his appointment this morning, and then we got him some shots today after I got out of work. All these kids kept coming up to Noah and wanting to play with him and talk to him and stuff. I'm really glad I didn't go in the morning, because I would not have had the energy for that. And then I taught a kid what the number 8 looked like, and what the color pink was. As exhausting as it was, I really look forward to when I get to do these things with Noah. Waiting rooms are the best kind of practice :)

Simon comes home "soon." It seems like forever ago when he left, but we're coming right up on 6 months now. We've been apart for 7 out of 9 months this year so far. It doesn't really feel like it. I feel like we could just be watching tv together, and it wouldn't feel like a big deal. But it would be.

Maybe I'll get some paint for his welcome home sign this weekend. Putting my art minor to good use! It'll be the most noticeable sign out of all of them, guaranteed.

The News

Here are my thoughts on this week's news.

Back story: High school kids broke into a former NFL players house to throw a party and vandalize pretty much all of it. He put pictures from the party that were on Twitter on some sort of social media website to help identify and prosecute the kids. Their parents, instead of getting mad at their children, got mad at this guy for putting their pictures up, because it would hurt their chances of getting into college.

WHAT THE F***.

If Noah ever did that, I'd help you. I'd drag his sorry behind to the police department, right after he was done scrubbing the urine out of the carpet. What's even better is that Noah will hopefully never be that much of a jackass, because he'll be exposed to real parenting instead of a system of entitlement.

Back story: Shootings in general.

Response: See above. I have no idea what to even do about this. What do you do about this? How do you fix it? Let's figure it out.

Back story: Someone won $400 million in the lottery.

Response: I don't play the lottery. I haven't played since I was pretty much broke. Currently, we're financially stable, so I feel no need to change that in any way. Also, I don't think you should rely on luck to determine your financial success. Playing the stock market has much higher odds of success.

I just pulled up an IRA calculator on my computer to find out if you put $1 every week into a traditional IRA with typical gains and what not until you retire at 65, you will have over $18,000. If you play the lottery every week with $1 for your entire adult life, chances are you will not have $18,000 come out of it. $10 instead? $183,000.

Food for thought Fridays.
<3 Kristin

Weightloss Monday?

I worked out today (a little cardio and abs, then a full arm/shoulder work out), and I reflected back on my weight loss. Currently I'm 118 lbs. Just to recap: I was 130 when I got pregnant, and 162 at the end of my pregnancy. There are 4 very important reasons that I think I lost so much weight so quickly.

1. I am nursing. Hallelujah.
2. I eat real, healthy, prepared meals. I have eaten fast food maybe twice since giving birth, but I do have dessert occasionally.
3. I drink water. The amount of water I drink directly correlates to my weight loss. When I felt addicted to water, I dropped 35 lbs. I stopped drinking as much, and I was at a stand-still. I started up again and lost another 6 lbs. Then I stopped. Then I realized what was going on, and I've been drinking water and steadily losing weight since. This relates to the "don't drink your calories" approach, too. I drink a LOT of Crystal Light when I have it on hand, as well as tea and coffee. I have had soda about 3 times total since giving birth.
4. I started working out when it was ok to, most of the time. I don't think this actually has anything to do with weight loss, but it reminds me that I want to be healthy, and I eat better because of it. And then I drink more water.

So there you have it. Every woman's body is different, so this won't work for everyone. However, it worked for me, and I hope I never forget it if we decide to have more children.

Ramblings about every topic under the sun

Got back into my work out groove this week. I'm down to 118 lbs, so I've lost 44 total since May 23rd, 2013. That's crazy. I guess nursing really does burn a shit ton of calories!

Work is going well. I like working. Mostly, I like working part time. I still have time to work out, make dinner, and play with Noah before his 8 pm bedtime. It is very nice, and its definitely working for us.

Simon received his last package from us today. HIS LAST PACKAGE. Still a ways away, but in my soul, his homecoming feels imminent.

On a more serious note: Simon asked me about Syria the other day, and I had no flippin' clue what he was talking about. Needless to say I've been paying a lot more attention, and my thought of the day is this: It should not be ok to kill children (and others) with chemical weapons that force them to suffocate to death. "It's not our problem" is a horrible excuse.

A much more personal note: I'm also a hypocrite. If I saw someone on the side of the road that needed help, I know I wouldn't stop. Maybe I should rethink my actions more often, and try to be the person I wish I was.

 

And here's a picture of my 20 lb, 3 month old baby!

 

<3 Kristin

Projects

I love projects. The picture below is one I did last year (inspired from Pinterest, of course), shortly after I found out I was pregnant. Having Noah now has inspired even more! I wanted to show this, because I'm about to assemble it again. I use the wreath for more than just one holiday, so all the decorations easily come off. Here she is:

 

This year, I'll make the O's go straight up and down :)

 

The next picture I did yesterday. Total, it cost me about $40. I got 1 panel curtain, 2 strands of string lights, and 2 basic long curtain rods. The curtain is lined, so it helps to dim the lights so I can easily sleep. I love it!

 

 

That's it for now. I'll post as I keep working on more projects!

 

<3 Kristin



3 Months Down

Today is Noah's 3 month birthday! It only feels like its been one month! I can't believe this. Where did time go?

He's doing really well. His eyesight can go a lot further. I can be standing 10-15 feet away, and he can still see me smiling at him and will smile back. He's great at tummy time, but he has issues with pulling his head forward. Also, if I give him a lot of time, he can roll from tummy to back. He starts on tummy, can go fully on his side, and usually just sits there like that, but if he wants, he can roll from his side onto his back. Going the opposite direction will take a long time though, because of his size.

He got used to drinking out of a bottle this week, but he can only use one of the 2 styles I have. I bought some more of the good kind today. Too bad they're really expensive. I need to get a new top for them, now. He's obviously outgrown the "slow flow" top, and now needs medium. Babies need a lot of shit.

He has 3 1/2 lbs to gain until he's too big for his infant carrier, too. Such a shame! I was hoping I could use it for a while longer, but I'm also hopeful that his weight gain has slowed for a while. I was expecting him to weigh more than he did, because he's been gaining 1 lb a week up until recently. I actually might be able to get a couple more months of use out of it if we're lucky.

I had to take him to the doctor today, because his temperature was 101.3! They checked for an ear infection and teething, but his doctor thinks its just a virus. I'm lucky he made it almost 2 weeks through daycare before getting sick :) Hopefully his immune system will be boosted for a while!

That's all.
<3 Kristin

First week of daycare

I think Noah likes daycare. He's a little too young to quite understand what's going on, but its good that he's around other babies and people. On the other hand, pumping is not as productive as just direct feeding, so it has been a hassle to try to make enough milk for the next day. In addition, I'm doing so much hand washing of all the small parts that I spend over an hour a day just doing that. It's usually about 8 pm before I'm done preparing for the next day. I can't even imagine if I was working full time. There's no way I'd have enough time :(

In addition, I'm trying to accept that my little baby is growing up. He'll be 3 months old in 6 days. I got him to nap in his crib earlier, but he was already sleeping, so it wasn't difficult. Currently I am trying to put him to bed in his crib for the night. In general, I think it's going well. I'm keeping his door open, because I'm insanely paranoid someone is going to break into his window and take him. He's like 20 feet away, and I have the video monitor on him as well. Maybe I'll sleep tonight, too :)

He can roll over half way now, like go from tummy or back to his side. I don't expect him to do a full roll over for a while, considering his size. Tummy time is going so well. He has almost full head control when I'm already holding him or have him propped up. I think he's meeting his milestones fine. He's always showing me new things he can do! So far he can grasp, and rotates his head, and can follow things with his eyes. It all sounds right to me.

Financial improvements: I've started buying diapers in bigger bulk packs now that he's steadily in size 3's. We went from paying $.16/diaper to $.14. Definitely a huge savings. Also, I switched from sensitive to just the unscented wipes. Both packs are $15, but I get 72 more wipes if I go with the unscented ones. He doesn't neccesarily need sensitive wipes, but I was buying those just to be nice to his hiney. Now that he's bigger, I'm sure it doesn't matter at all to him.

Another financial improvement: Sometimes you need to recognize when you have enough of a certain size of clothing. Target had ADORABLE onesies (only $5!), so I decided to buy 2 and then assess what I actually needed at home later. Turns out I just wanted them and didn't actually need those sizes, so they're getting returned. In general, if I have 8 of a size, that's good enough. 8 might not seem like a lot, but usually he's a cross in between a couple of sizes, so really its like 16. The next size we'll need is 12 months, and we've started working on that. It's too bad baby clothes are so freaking adorable, and that they're only in a size for such a short period of time. I did buy him a sweater though, because he has none that he fits into. Small win for the day :)

I want to give some baby advice, but I really don't have any. I guess so far all of my successes have been due to reading up on different things when we run into them. Example: I did a lot of reading about sleeping in a crib today. I've also read articles about breastfeeding, co-sleeping, bed sharing, only children, and expected growth until my eyes bleed. Most of this I would never have even thought about looking up when I was pregnant. I don't even remember what I looked up when I was pregnant. I think it was things like "When will he eat baby food?" and "What if he's born premature?" Most of it was irrelevant anyways. Like colostrum. Don't even waste time reading about that shit, because in the blink of an eye, your milk is coming in and that whole phase is long gone. :)

<3 Kristin

 

We love tummy time!

 

Fresh Jammies!

Delighted

From July 27th:

Even on my worst days, I'm happier than I have ever been before Noah.

I'll probably pass out from happiness when Simon comes home.

Not very well focused, but this pretty much sums it up.

Daycare 2.0

Going back to work in 10 days. Boo. I finally got daycare squared away, and he'll be attending one on base. It is so much cheaper than out in town, and it seems like a very secure facility. I still hate to leave him with someone else. No one will love him like I do.

I've consistently made it to the gym at least 3 days a week for the last 5 weeks in a row. It isn't ideal, but I'm glad that I'm going. I lost a little more weight, and everything is slowly firming back up. I wish it would go quicker though!

Noah is so good at cooing and smiling. It is delightful. He's so much more fun, and he's learning more every day. I swear the time is going by too fast for me to be able to keep up.

I'm super excited for Simon to come home. I think its been long enough, but we still have a ways to go. So annoying.

I got my birth control put back in this week. My arm still hurts pretty bad when I move it, so I've had to avoid a lot of things at the gym. I'm ready to get my arms back and be able to work them out :)

There's so much love in my heart, for both Noah and Simon, that I think I might explode.

That's about it!
<3 Kristin

Motherhood is...

Motherhood is not getting anything done, because you're way too busy watching your baby sleep.

<3

Noah had his 2 month checkup yesterday. He was in the 86th percentile for height (24 inches) and the 99th percentile for weight (16 lbs!). He also got 6 vaccines yesterday too, and he did pretty well. He started getting incredibly fussy in the afternoon, and that lasted quite a while. He's feeling much better this morning, thankfully.

2 1/2 weeks of maternity leave left! I need to take him up to daycare, so we can fill out paperwork. Hopefully by the end of this week that will be completed.

Gotta pack up his 0-3 and some 3 month clothing soon. Some of it is getting incredibly tight! Thankfully there's still enough so I won't have to use the 6 month sizing as much. I know he's gigantic, but he still feels like a little baby to me. He's been having an 11 month long growth spurt. It's gotta slow down eventually, right?

At least he's healthy!

<3 Kristin

Daycare

New Beginnings called me, and I'll be able to get Noah in on time to start work! This is great, but it made me sad.

Then today, after I had done some housework and resumed being Noah's mom, I had started to miss him, so I picked him up and hugged him and put him down and we smiled back and forth. Usually during the day, I'm always with him, so getting to see him is not a big deal.

So while I'm at work, I'll miss him a lot. After I get to see him, the time we spend together will be better. You know, quality over quantity.

Time to go play with baby now... :)

<3 Kristin

Huggies

I registered my points at Huggies.com for all the diapers and wipes I had bought before I found out I don't use Huggies. I ended up with 113, and the first thing you can get with rewards points starts at like 150 or something. SO! Instead of letting them go to waste, I donated them, and every 16 points donated diapers a child in need every day. So that's like a week's worth of diapers for a baby. Totally worth it.

I feel this need to start saving babies. Like its my mission in life. The saddest part is I wouldn't even know where to start. There's so many different things to save babies from, and there's so many different organizations that do stuff like this. Nothing hits close to home yet, and I hope it never does.

I finally have my postpartum checkup tomorrow! Super excited to actually get the "ok" to start working out. Can't wait to focus on my abs!

We've been able to video chat with Simon a lot, so that's great. Especially now that he's smiling a LOT and making more noises that are eventually going to turn into coo's.

Two nights ago, he went 8 hours in between feedings, and last night he went 4 1/2 and then 5 hours in between! We both finally get to start sleeping "like a baby." Also, this saying is total BS.

6 weeks difference:

<3 Kristin

Week 7

Babies need a lot of shit.

I had to buy a swing just for him to start giving me more of a break while he's awake during the day. If he's not being held, he's not happy. This makes mommy unhappy, because nothing gets done around the house.

Diapers and wipes really aren't as expensive as everyone makes them seem. I spent $50 on them yesterday, and the diapers should last about 2 weeks, and the wipes will probably last me about 5-6 weeks. Its about $80 a month. I use the Up&Up brand of both. The diapers are ok, and I like the wipes way more than Pampers or Huggies.

Tip: After you make a Target registry, they give you a 10% off coupon to finish getting the things on your registry. Conveniently, they let you keep adding to the registry even after your baby is born. So I added all the baby stuff I was going to buy that day, and got 10% off of all of it!

Exercise wise: I went to the gym four times this week. I shoot for five, but if I get four in, I'm happy. I'm weighing myself at the end of next week, and I hope to see 125!  The weekends are my off days, because the drop in care hours are way too early for us. I'm planning on making all my dinners for the week, so it'll be easy to store the right portions and such to keep my diet in check.

Here's a picture I took after his last bath:

That's all!
<3 Kristin

Fitness

 

Noah is six weeks old now, so we all know what that means: I can start exercising.

Not so fast. I had to reschedule my postpartum appointment, and the next available date is July 17th. I had two options for the gym: Wait to get the ok, or just work out anyways. I knew if I waited, it was due to laziness, not a safety precaution. Since I feel perfectly fine, I decided to start. I'm avoiding direct ab exercises, though. Gold's has drop-in child care, so Noah has been hanging out there, and he hasn't cried yet, either!

So here's the stats: I was 162 when I gave birth. Four weeks later, I was back down to my pre-pregnancy weight: 130. Currently I'm 126. My goal is to lose 10 lbs of fat, and hopefully replace it with some muscle. I'm not attached to the number on the scale, but seeing 120 would be nice.

It was really easy to lose the weight I had gained. This is why: I am breastfeeding (which burns 500-800 calories/day apparently), and I do not get to eat as often as I used to (about 2 meals a day). This is a godsend, because I think I ate too much before. Because of this, I didn't scrutinize the nutrition in my meals like I should have. I'm much better about that now. However, I'm not getting the recommended amount of calories, so my weight is still coming off faster than usual. Hopefully it starts to balance a little.

I'm trying to not type too much, but here's my game plan:
Go on a walk with Noah every day for about a half hour
Go to the gym five days a week
Half an hour of cardio, or more if I'm doing a class
15-30 minutes of strength training (different parts different days)
Try to eat as much protein as possible (I can't even come close to what is recommended)
Try to not exceed 150 g/carbs per day
Try to go to yoga once a week

This is going to get a lot harder once I start working again! Eeek!
<3 Kristin

One Month Postpartum

This time exactly one month ago, I was in the middle of pushing out my little baby boy. Can you believe he is one month old already?! Time has flown by like crazy. Every day it has gotten easier and easier. I know I'm going to miss a lot of moments from the last month, but I'm excited to move on and start watching him learn and grow and be a happy baby.

Oh, and I've lost all the baby weight. No biggie.

I have my six week postpartum checkup in one week and two days. I will be going to the gym in one week and two days (as long as everything is good, of course).

I only have seven weeks of maternity leave left. :(

And that's it!
<3 Kristin

That awkward moment...

There's nothing quite like your newborn baby looking up at you, then proceeding to stare and start grunting until he's picked up.

Where's your please and thank you's, Noah?

Top 5

Short post:

Top five items I could not have lived without in the last 3 1/2 weeks

1) Changing pad with the curved sides, because that's what Noah sleeps in
2) Swaddling blankets, NOT receiving blankets (At least 4, and Carter's is the best!)
3) The clear, green Avent pacifiers
4) My breast pump (Medela Pump in Style)
5) A minimum of 2 boxes of Lansinoh bra pads. I use way more than I thought I would.

There's so much more I could put on here, but I would like to emphasize the fact that I would be doomed without these 5 items for sure.

Happy Monday!
<3 Kristin

Maternity Leave

I can't believe I've been on maternity leave for 4 weeks already! Only 8 to go, and I need to call the two waiting lists Noah is on for day care to tell them the exact day I need them. I'm hoping at least one of them can accommodate starting by August 12th!

In 2 weeks and 2 days, I (hope to) get the ok to start working out. I got all the info on their drop in care last week, and its only $25/mo! This is kind of odd though, because I only pay $15/mo to use the facility in general. As soon as he starts day care, I won't need it at all, but it's nice to know that I don't have to start day care first to start working out. I'm getting kind of bored doing the same thing all the time at home, and my tummy flab is seriously disturbing.

Other than that, here are my goals for the rest of maternity leave:
Go on more walks with Noah
Start eating a real meal every day of the week
Establish a larger breastmilk supply
Keep up my cleaning schedule :)
Learn how to play with him more
Keep us both happy and healthy

Ideally, I'd love to start reading more in my downtime, but I love HGTV and the wordsearch on my phone way too much to mess with that. Noah and I walked around Barnes and Noble a couple days ago while I sipped my iced chai latte from Starbucks. That's close enough for me!

Today is Father's Day, and Noah and I are wishing Simon a very happy one over there. Next year will be a real celebration, though.

I'm really sick of saying "Next year will be better!"

New Years is gonna be a hell of a party for our little family.

<3 Kristin

2 weeks, 6 days

 

We had our 2 week well baby checkup today! Everything looks good, apparently. It better, too, because I've been working my F&*#!%@ @$$ off...

(30 minutes later)

I have to learn how to type faster. There's a lot of things I have to learn how to do faster. I just realized I've been sitting on a dirty diaper (in my bed). Didn't get any "poop" anywhere, but it wouldn't have mattered anyways. I still wouldn't have washed my bedding. I went 4 days without washing my hair.

Something easier than expected is bringing him out in public. He just sleeps the whole time, and he loves car rides. This makes life a lot easier.

I have the feeling that sometime in the next 2 weeks or so, he'll give me like 4-5 hours at night to sleep. Probably just once or twice at first, but I'm looking forward to it. He's already 10 lbs 9 oz, and I read somewhere that they're able to sleep longer at night somewhere between 11 and 15 lbs, because they don't get as desperately hungry as fast. In the meantime, I'm going to cluster feed this baby ;)

I packed all of his newborn clothing up 2 days ago. I had no idea I would be so sad about it.

Side note: I have no idea why women have babies to get more money from welfare. Just getting a damn job would be a lot easier.

I know all moms say this kind of shit too, but Noah is doing a very good job learning about the world around him. The doctor commented that he was already able to see things at least 4 feet away. We've been doing a lot of tummy time, too. He's a strong little boy.

He poops at least every 30 minutes, though, so its no wonder that he developed a crazy diaper rash. My poor baby was in tears all afternoon on Saturday, but we were able to get an appointment for Sunday morning to get prescription cream for it. He hasn't cried in pain since, but I'm not entirely sure that the cream is working very well. Occasionally I'm still wiping some blood off his tush. We'll see in a few more days.

As for me, I'm overwhelmed but happy. My recovery and weight loss has been coming along well, and I finally feel like I'm doing something purposeful with my life. It's insane to think that I am responsible for this young life. This baby has made no mistake in his life, and he hasn't been led down any undesirable path. He's not been hurt by anyone, and he hasn't caused another pain. Having a child is like being given another chance. Noah is my do-over in life. There's not too much in my life I would have ever changed, but I can guarantee he'll be more athletic, and if he goes to college, hopefully he chooses his major more wisely ;)

No pressure, Noah. Whatever you choose to do, I'll always be proud of my little baby boy.

 

The birth story!

Simon and I became parents on May 23rd to a LOVELY (yet large!) 8 lb 14 oz baby boy!

I had assumed that because I was healthy, Noah has been healthy, and my pregnancy has been complication free, that I would have a normal, terror-free labor.

Wrong.

We're alright though, so here's the full story!

Wednesday, May 22nd, I had my membranes swept. I went into the office at 3 cm and 80% effaced, so we were confident it would probably work, but I didn't get my hopes up. 20 minutes later, I started having irregular contractions that drifted off as the day went on. I had assumed it probably didn't work.

I woke up at 7:15 the next morning (my due date) thinking my water broke. It wasn't a hell of a lot, and it was NOT clear. I was convinced it might have been my MP. Maybe 5 minutes later, I realized my water had indeed broke, because it was like 4 times the amount. I called labor & delivery, concerned that it wasn't the correct color/consistency, and they told me to come right in. I woke up my mom, we got ready (kind of. I wanted to finish my makeup but my contractions were coming on too strong), and we drove to the hospital. We saw a rainbow on the way. It was delightful, despite the pain!

We got to the hospital and some man whose face I never saw took me up to the 3rd floor in a wheelchair, and people were congratulating me in the hallways, but I was sobbing like a baby. It was kind of embarrassing. The man dropped me off and rushed downstairs to meet my mom who was parking the car, so she would know exactly where to go.

I quickly got into triage. They were going to do a test to see if my water broke, but my body decided to show them before they had to do anything else. They took me straight to my room, and informed me that I had meconium in my amniotic fluid. They told me that I would not be able to hold my baby right away, as they had to do tests and suction it out of his lungs right after birth. It's not ideal, but I was fine with it.

The pain kept getting worse. We had continually called my doula to come to the hospital, because I needed serious help with pain management. Eventually I got IV pain meds, which made me loopy and fall asleep. Because I fell asleep, I needed Pitocin to speed it up, which made the pain excruciating. Then I got the epidural. My doula called not long after asking if she should still come up. The damage was done, so I told her to go home.

Noah was "sunny side up" so they told me I'd have to labor a while before pushing to get him to turn all the way. I had the epidural, so time wasn't as much of a concern. However, the epidural never impacted my left hip, so it was still incredibly painful. I can't imagine a labor without it at all. At about 5:30, they had me start pushing. It was confusing at first, considering I couldn't really feel what was happening, but I got the hang of it. Not long after 6, they told me the next push was going to deliver the baby. I gave it everything I had. Big mistake.

They told me to keep pushing and to not stop. My doctor called a code purple. Two people grabbed my feet and brought my legs completely to my head while two other nurses jumped on the bed. He kept pointing to a spot above my pubic bone, and the one nurse laid her fist into it with the entire weight of her body. Everyone had heard something pop, and it seemed to do the trick! His shoulders had gotten stuck (shoulder dystocia), and she was trying to break his clavicle, so he could pass through. He came out (not crying), and one doctor told me that his clavicle was broken, but that it "shouldn't" have any long term effects. I just wanted him to cry god damn it.

And then he cried, and past all the doctors and nurses, I saw his little legs kicking. I was in so much shock over what had happened in such little time that I hadn't cried. I just felt content.

Despite everything, his APGAR scores were 7 and 9, and not a single one of his bones were broken.

I, on the other hand, convulsed throughout the rest of the evening, and it ended with a seizure after going to the bathroom. Labor is hard work! Sorry to everyone that was expecting a call afterwards. I couldn't work my fingers on my phone, let alone succeed in staying conscious.

Post delivery:
I was so concerned breastfeeding would be difficult. It has been the easiest thing so far, and I love it. I feel like I'm making up for the bonding that I missed the first 12 hours of his life.

I know this sounds really pathetic, but I've lost over half my baby weight so far!

I thought newborns were supposed to sleep a lot. This is a lie.

He had his first checkup yesterday, and he's already gained back almost all the weight he lost after the first 2 days!

Hospital food is delicious.

My mom is the best.

I miss Simon a lot.

A lot. A lot. A lot.

I can't wait till we can become a real family. You know, the kind that has met each other and live in the same house together and get to do things together. It's going to be the most amazing feeling.

<3 Kristin

 

!

38 weeks tomorrow!

My mom comes in exactly 1 week!

Soon I'll be able to lay on my stomach!

And hold Noah in my arms!

And show Simon what he looks like!

And be only one human being!

I'll update after my appointment tomorrow!

<3 Kristin!

Birthdays.

So I'm really close to delivery, and I'm plotting what days are acceptable birthdays, and what days are not. I have 2 favorites. May 8th and May 12th. May 8th would be cool, because 5+8=13, and his birthday would be 5-8-13. That's awesome. May 12th is Mother's Day, and I'd rather not celebrate it alone! Therefore, any day up to and including May 12th is fine, because he'll be here with me.

My mom flies in on May 15th, so any day AFTER May 15th would be cool, too! She would definitely be there, and I'd like that.

Therefore, May 13-15 would be stupid.

Other thoughts:
After May 7th is good, because I'm getting this shoebox full of stuff after work tomorrow if I'm there. That's awesome.

After May 10th is also good, because then I can go see the Great Gatsby.

However, before May 10th is good, because Fridays are really difficult days at work, and I'd rather not have to work another one of those :)

Much longer after May 16th would be annoying, because I'm miserable.

The end!
<3 Kristin

Apprehension

This is an entirely different type of post. Enjoy.

Also, before you read, know that I completely understand that the second I have Noah, all of my feelings may change.

Having a baby was obviously not a decision we took lightly. There are still things that I want to do that I thought would come before having a child, because society states that they need to be done prior to starting a family. In the end, I realized that's not true at all. I want to go back to school, I want to travel with Simon, and I want to just always be willing to try new things. There's no reason this can't be done with a child. Once I realized that, I came to understand that having a child would not "end" me, Simon, or our life together.

I didn't want to have a kid just to have a kid. I wanted to have a child with Simon, plain and simple, to embark on this incredible journey with an incredible person. When I look at my tummy, I don't think about how cute he is, or how much I'm going to love him (I know I will. Don't worry.) I think about how I am carrying an extension of my husband and I. Half of this person's DNA is my husband. That is more miraculous than just his little body and his little lips and his little hands.

 

"Don't marry a man unless you would be

proud to have a son exactly like him."

This sticks with me so much. I consider myself extremely lucky that I truly want Noah to be like Simon in every single way possible. I don't think a lot of women share my sentiment regarding their children's fathers. Maybe I'm crazy, though.

------

Alright so that's the first half. The second half is about how truly terrified I am to be taking on the biggest responsibility of my life.

I don't think I'll be The World's Best Mom. Women will not look at me and think, "How does she do it?" Not because it's completely unattainable, but because I have no interest in giving up everything about me for my children. I think the most effective parents are parents that still take time for themselves as well. What do we teach our children when we let our bodies go, stop doing things for ourselves, and give up every ounce of our soul? That it's ok, but I don't think it is. I'm not saying I'm not going to take care of my children, but I have every intention of working, going to the gym, and buying clothes for myself. I can't believe that some women stop buying clothes for themselves.

Therefore, I'm scared. I'm absolutely terrified to be a mom. I am not the "mom" type, but I am loving, caring and would do anything for the well-being of my child, just as I would be for any member of my family. Did you know some women try to speed up the onset of labor? I'm so excited to give birth, but I can't imagine wanting to purposefully get myself closer to it. It's going to happen in the next few weeks anyways, and it's so easy to just take care of him while he's inside of me. I've never taken care of a newborn, so I'm terrified that I'm not going to do it very well. What if he gets diaper rash, or he can't latch correctly, or he gets an upset stomach? I want him to be full and happy and healthy every day of his life, but that doesn't happen for anyone.

Or what about crawling, walking, and talking? What if I'm a horrible teacher? And what happens when he starts evolving into a young man? How do you teach someone the difference between what's right and wrong, or what's right and what's easy? How do you become the adult that they know they should listen to? Do you just try to set a good example and hope for the best? That's too big of a responsibility to rely on hope alone. This is a human being. I have created a human that I need to raise to become the best human possible. It's too much to think about all at once.

I've rambled long enough, so let's just take it day by day. <3

36 week appt

Alright, small update here, because I had my 36 week appointment today!

I haven't gained any weight, so they didn't annoy me about that for the first time since my 1st trimester. Small win :)

Usually they don't do a cervical check until 38 weeks, but I had felt some contractions, so she went ahead with it. She was able to feel that he was head down (YAY), I am 1 cm dilated, and 50% effaced. The effacement is really great, especially with first time moms. It hints to less medical interventions (like induction), and easier ones if I still need some specific ones anyways. In addition, she mentioned that I probably will not go past my due date. Definitely the biggest win of the day.

I met with Christina afterwards, and she was very pleased to hear all of this. I have the highest hopes for a natural labor, but I will understand if something goes wrong, and I end up needing to explore other options.

I have a 38 week and a 40 week appointment left, but hopefully I just need the 38 week appointment and then go into labor. Or if I could just go into labor now, that'd be appreciated. It is a full moon tonight, after all. ;)

Kristin

36

Not quite at 36 weeks, but it's only two days away, so I figured I was safe to post a pretty accurate picture. The PUPP's is as bad as ever, but I was able to sleep almost 5 straight hours last night, so maybe that means improvement? Either way, these last few weeks were going to be miserable for me, so I'm out of self pity mode, and I'm just ready to have this baby. I had 2 contractions earlier today during the morning, but they went away. Just extra practice, I suppose!

Not much to say other than I have my 36 week appointment in 2 days, and I'm meeting with Christina, my doula, afterwards.

Oh yeah, and my veins make my hands look like I'm 90 years old or something. They're so big that I can't wear my wedding rings anymore. I have all 3 rings (my 2 and Simon's) on a chain in my bathroom. The PUPP's is so bad on my neck though that I can't wear it. Soon enough!

And here's a picture of Noah and I.

It's SOOOO WEIRD to think there's a baby in there, and then I watch his foot push against my stomach, and I believe it. My favorite is when I know it's his hand pushing against mine, and I kind of hold around it, so it's like we're holding hands. I still don't feel like he'll ever come out, but I'm so excited for when he does.

And on my bad days, I like to imagine Noah and I greeting Simon when he comes home. I know everyone says that your child's birthday is the best day of your life, but I think this will trump that tenfold.

:)

 Kristin

For me, myself, and I

This post is solely for myself, and for any girl that kind of wants to get pregnant but wants someone to talk her out of it at the same time. Even the easiest of pregnancies are susceptible to a variety of rare issues and complications.

The reason I feel the need to write this is because I'm experiencing so many new things with my body that I want to be able to know when it happened and compare it to when I deliver, and then maybe next time I'll be able to predict when I'm delivering a little better. Yes, I know every pregnancy is different, but maybe there will be some similarities.

• I pee about 30 times a day, and go through a roll of toilet paper EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
• Back pain began at about 20 weeks.
• Joint pain in my hips began at 25 weeks.
• Braxton Hicks contractions began at about 25 weeks, as well.
• Sometime in the 2nd half of my 2nd trimester, I began having breathing problems and heart palpitations in the mornings about every other day.

That was it, for a while. Then 32 weeks happened.

At 32 1/2 weeks, I got stretch marks on my stomach. A few days later, I had a rash break out on my stretch marks. Its called PUPPP. It only happens to 1/2% of pregnant women, and 70% of whom are first time mothers carrying baby boys or multiples. It is incredibly itchy, and although I tried to prevent stretch marks every day with stretch mark cream, I no longer cared and HAD to scratch. A few days after that, it started to spread. In about a weeks time, it covered my hands, my forearms and elbows, the backs of my thighs, and my ankles. I tried EVERYTHING. I tried Hydrocortisone cream, baby oil, diaper rash cream, regular lotion, calming lotion, scrubs, you name it. Then I ordered Grandpa's Pine Tar Soap from GNC. People swear by this, and I just got it in the mail today. This is the worst smelling soap ever, but I will be bathing with it at least once a day, and it hopefully will help. I have an appointment on Thursday, so if it doesn't, maybe my doctor can help.

Enough about that.

• At 33 weeks, I noticed I lost 3 lbs. I think that has to do with Simon leaving, though.
• At 34 weeks, I began having "period" like cramps a few times a day, one day a week or so.
• Today (35 wks 1 day) I noticed stretch marks on my chest. They're growing againnnnn.
• My back pain has evolved into an all consuming pain about one day a week over the last couple weeks.
• I may or may not be nesting. I'd like to call it being responsible and wanting to be prepared for when the baby and my mom come.
• Dizziness, nausea, and general weakness have occurred randomly throughout.

Almost nothing about pregnancy is fun. However, I try to focus on good things even when I'm completely miserable. Sometimes I enjoy his kicking (when its not in my ribs or bladder), and I like organizing his room and buying him things. I don't buy anything he wouldn't use, so I bought him 2 newborn sized pajamas at Target yesterday, and it has kept me happy ever since.

I like to think about my diet and workout plan for after the birth, too. Knowing that I can more or less undo what has been done (with a TON of effort, of course), keeps my spirits up.

With that said, I think I only have about 3 weeks to go until I deliver. My mother and my sister both gave birth early, and my baby is large enough that I'm sure he's already over 5 lbs. We'll see!

That's all for now.
<3 Kristin

Edit 4/23: The Pine tar soap did NOT work, and neither does Benadryl, cortisone cream, numbing cream, or pain relieving spray. The only thing that works for about a few minutes at a time is drenching myself in Witch Hazel. The last thing that I haven't tried is topical steroids, which I am inquiring about at my next appointment.

The Deployment

My last few posts seem a bit contrived to me, because I haven't been able to talk about what's actually been happening inside my head. Now that everyone is settled in, here we go:

Simon left for Afghanistan a while ago for a very difficult deployment. They're training their military so that foreign troops can get out of there "soon". I find comfort in the fact that he's doing something incredibly important, which almost legitimizes him missing Noah's birth, as well as the first few months of his life. Almost.

I just want him home, though. Everything feels empty, and nothing feels right. But maybe he's saved another couple from having to go through this sort of thing by going himself. The bright side is that we've had communication almost every single day, if not every day, since he's left. But what I wouldn't give to spend just a minute sitting on the couch, on Pinterest, while watching him play videogames.

Simon, I'm so proud of you for everything you've done and for everything that you are. I respect you deeply, love you madly, and miss you more than I can even feel.

<3 Kristin

"He's more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same."
-Emily Bronte

Finding support

Just some facts:

I have no idea who will be with me during birth.

I want as natural a birth as possible without posing a risk to my baby or serious injury to myself.

I know that having a strong supporter during the labor process increases your ability to have a natural birth.

So I started researching doulas a few months ago. It began from learning about a program called Operation Special Delivery, where doulas volunteer themselves to pregnant women who give birth while their husband is deployed. This was mostly a dead end. I was matched up with someone that lives in Illinois. I moved on.

Then I met a girl who had recently used the service, so she gave me contact information for her doula. I then contacted her, and we met up for coffee today to discuss the whole process. Turns out OSD is mostly for women who not only give birth when their husbands are deployed, but also cannot afford it. We can afford it, so I'm not going to put on a front just to try to weasel my way into it for free. Honestly, it's not even expensive. Every cent of it would be well worth it though, because my meeting could not have gone any better with her.

She had given me more information about the birthing process than I had managed to learn on my own in the last 6 months. She gave me information about delivering at the naval hospital that I would never have known. She's also well known at the hospital, has access to the best equipment to assist in the process, and knows every nurse and midwife that may be helping me during labor and delivery. Most importantly, she's been doing this for years, and only 1 woman has ever gotten a C-section, and only 2 women have ever gotten epidurals. Did I mention she can also drive me to the hospital? This woman is unbelievable.

There are so many pros to working with this woman that I can't even remember everything that I'm thinking. I'm actually looking forward to the whole process, which is something that I couldn't say before. Noah will be the luckiest baby in the world with this woman on our side.

Couponing, Recipes, and Daycare

It's only been a few days, but I owe myself a 32 week picture. If I don't do it now, it's not going to happen!

This weekend, I assembled all of the coupons that I had received, printed some extras off at Target.com, and took a little shopping trip. We have almost everything we need for Noah now, except for things that might be nice to have, but maybe not completely necessary. I learned a lot about buying diapers, too! I'm not stocking up too much until I learn the exact brand I want to use, because I know that some babies don't take easy to some of them. I bought 3 different brands, so hopefully he likes the Up&Up ones, but we'll see!

I've also decided to maybe start cooking, even though its just for me. I hate just nibbling on small things all day long, so I figure if I cook a normal size dinner, it'll provide me with hopefully 3 meals. Thank god for Tupperware! I made stuffed bell peppers and baked asparagus for dinner (ate all of the asparagus!), and I have oatmeal lemon bars in the oven right now. They'll be good for dessert and breakfast, so I'm glad I'm making a whole pan worth. They'll probably be gone by the weekend.

Lastly, I got information for 3 separate daycares in the area for when I go back to work. The prices are $153, $159, and $160 a week, so there's not really a difference there whatsoever. The teacher to child ratio is 1:5 for all 3, which sucks, but if I have no option, I guess it doesn't really matter. However, the two "most" expensive ones were incredibly nice to me on the phone, whereas the cheapest one had someone very unpleasant answer the phone. They were the only daycare that did not have a wait list, but I'm going to take that as a bad sign. The one that is $159 is located only 4 minutes from my home. It will be most convenient for when Simon is home and may have to pick up Noah from daycare. The other one is located right behind my work, but its a much longer drive for Simon. I need to look at both though to assess which one is my favorite. If its a close call, we'll go with the one close to our home.

That's all for now!

<3 Kristin



32 weeks

32 weeks along today. The picture below is NOT of me at 32 weeks. It's my 28 week picture that I still haven't posted. I'll take a 32 week picture eventually.

Since the last post, Simon has come home, we went to Michigan, had the baby shower, came back, and we've embarked on the last stretch of pregnancy. The shower turned out really good. We're never in Michigan for very long, so its nice when the opportunity to get a lot of people together arises. The shower helped us complete a lot of the things that we need. There's still a little bit to go, but I'll probably finish getting all of that together this weekend. I still need diapers, and to start assembling the things I'll need for the hospital. When you don't really have anyone to count on 100% when you go into labor, there's so many extra things to think about. I took Xena to the vet today to update one of her shots. I'm really hoping to have enough "advance notice" of labor to take my dogs to Animal House. They loved it last time, and I would hate to be worrying about them at home while I'm in the hospital. I need to clean out my car, put a bag over my seat, and install the carseat base in the next few weeks, as well. More or less, everything should be done by the end of Tuesday.

I had my 32 week appointment today. I've gained 27 lbs total, the heartbeat was good (140's), and I got the pertussis vaccine. I turned all of my paperwork in, too, to both the OB clinic and the admissions office for when I'm in labor.

Let's talk about the birth plan! If everything goes accordingly, it will be a completely drug-free labor. They say your chances of not getting an epidural go significantly down if you don't have anyone there to kind of help coach you, so I'm thinking about calling someone from Operation Special Delivery. They provide free doulas, but I'm not entirely convinced I want one. I need to make my mind up soon, though.

Other things that I've neglected (due to work schedule or thinking its unnecessary) is the labor and delivery tour, Lamaze classes, and the breastfeeding class. I understand the benefits of all of these, so hopefully I do at least one. I might be too far along for the Lamaze classes, because I should have started one of the 4 sessions by now. The worst thing about the naval hospital is they assume all wives have no job, so they have all of their classes at times like 10 am or 3 pm, and always Monday-Friday. It's unfortunate, because I know there's a lot of women like me that would be more open to taking these if they didn't have to take vacation time to do so.

I think that's all for now. I'll be doing another post very soon when I can elaborate on a certain something. I'll post the 32 week picture then.

<3 Kristin

28 weeks:

And the love of my life:

DIY Day #1

Simon is in California this month, so I have officially done my first DIY project for...

Noah Arthur Fry.

:)

I wanted something to go above the crib, for it to contain his name, and for it to also take up a large section of the wall, because I have decided to not wallpaper or paint. I'll save that for baby #2 I suppose, when we're living in a house we own (maybe). I went to Michael's, and I bought unfinished 16X16 (ish) frames, some acrylic paint, the letters for his name, and 4 pieces of different scrapbook paper that all coordinated but weren't the same. Here it is:

 

So, I paintd the frames a navy blue and the letters a light green. After it was dry, i just assembled it all together. I used super glue to hold the letters to the paper, and sticky squares to hold the paper to the cardboard backing. I didn't think it would hold, honestly, because the letters are so heavy. I was wrong, thank god. I didn't have a back up plan!

 

And here ya go!

 

I know that it looks uncentered, but there's another piece of furniture that will arrive next week hopefully to fill the space under the "N."

 

In addition, I got my nursery chair earlier this week. Target had packs of 3 cube shelf things on clearance for $10/each. They matched my crib, so I had to get 2. I also bought curtains. I'm well aware that they are girl curtains, but I'm making them more manly looking next weekend, and Noah won't even know the difference. ;) Here's the other corner of the room:

 

 

That's all I have for now. I'll post more after I get the rest of the furniture and assemble it.

Love,

Kristin

 

Dog Shaming

This post has nothing to do with babies or pregnancy. This is a post about dog shaming, because my dogs deserve it.

This all started when I went into the spare bedroom today to get crayons (yep.), and I noticed cat poop on the spare bed. What did I do? I cleaned it up. What didn't I do? Take the poop to the outside trash can. I thought the kitchen one would suffice, considering I have to take it out later anyways. I was wrong.

I left to get some groceries, so I made sure that the puppies went to the bathroom, and I moved their water bowl up to the counter, so Herc wouldn't drink any and feel the need to pee on the cat litter box. Why didn't I leave them outside? Because I just cleaned my floors, and I didn't want them tracking mud through the house when I let them back in. It's legitimate. So then I came back from the store. Just enough trash had been removed from the trash can to access the layer of cat shit. Where was the cat shit? They ate it. All the rest of the trash was strewn about the living room floor. In addition, Herc still peed on the cat litter box.

Needless to say, the floors got reshampooed and mopped.

V-day!

I'm 24 weeks along today! Huge milestone, because if for whatever reason I had the baby right now, the hospital would attempt to save it. I think I read somewhere that there's a 50-90% survival rate for babies born at 24 weeks. I DO NOT want to go into labor, obviously, but its crazy to think that a viable human life is inside of me right now.

In other news, 2 weeks ago I had gained 10 lbs total. At the visit today, that number climbed to 17. Apparently this is normal, but I also bought 4 boxes of girl scout cookies that have mostly been demolished in the last 3 days. We can blame it on the baby, though.

I also paid rent today, so I asked about painting the baby's room (provided that I paint it back). We get along great, so he was inferring that it would be fine, regardless of whether I painted it back or not. I'm thinking a light grey, but I want to plan it out well, so I don't change my mind 12 times. This is the color scheme I'm thinking of:

Next up on the to-do list for today is the Bordatella shot for Hercules, so that we can put them both in boarding when we go to Michigan, which is March 7-12! I can't imagine leaving them behind, but there's no where for them to go up there, and we're appreciating the fact that we can fly, now. The boarding place is called Animal House, and they'll have their own indoor/outdoor room for only $40 a night! http://www.ncanimalhouse.com, for anyone in the area that is looking for a place to board. The baby shower will be March 10th, tentatively. It's going to be a very small gathering, which is great, because I seriously hate all that attention. I can't wait to see my family, though, as it doesn't happen very often! Definitely the best part about showers.

Here's my 24 week picture:

Word Vomit

^ From the 20 week ultrasound

 

I'm 22 weeks along today! At times I feel like this is going by so slow, but when I think about only having 4 months to go, I have a mini heart attack. What have I been doing this whole time, ya know?
 
First, the cradle and the crib have been assembled, after many hours of trying to figure it out, 2 trips to Lowe's, and a decent amount of wood glue. We put Xena in the crib to make sure it would hold. It did. Hopefully our baby doesn't exceed 68 lbs.
 
Here's my dogs, because I love them:
 

 
Second, we've received many items that we don't have to worry about getting now, and almost all thanks goes to Simon's mom, Lori! Newborn sized clothing? Floor level swing? Diaper pail? Check, check, check. And that's not all, trust me.
 
My friend Amanda gave me a shit ton of books for the baby. They range anywhere from newborn books to the first books he'll read. The best find in the box was Go, Dog, Go! That was always my favorite book as a child. There's also a lot of Dr. Seuss, which I'm ecstatic over!
 
The Steffens' gave us one of those things you put the baby in, and it vibrates (help with the official name, please?), and also an adorable 5 pc onesie set. The most thoughtful part was that it was football themed for Simon (obvi), so they bought sizes that the baby will be in when he will be back from the deployment.
 
Next we need to start working on the nursery. I want to order the blue and brown elephants design at www.tempaperdesigns.com. It is removable wall paper, which is perfect for us, because we're renting, but I don't want to sacrifice style. Although adorable, do I really want to settle on elephants?! Ideally, it would be nautical themed. Give me some time to think about it.
 
Scratch that. I know 4 months seems far off, but in reality, Simon will only be home for like a total of a month before he leaves. Any help I need from him can't really wait.
 
We've decided on the name, and we'll be announcing it soon, probably. I don't think its a secret, anyways. Hint: whether it's a nautical themed nursery, or anything with animals, it would be a perfect fit with his first name. 
 
Here's a 22 week picture: